Erotic Porn Reviewer

St Mackenzies is a bit like what happens when “arty” bands suddenly decide to glam up, enjoy themselves and pack much more of a punch. The photographers for this site come from a softcore nude background, and while I’m sure their work was very fulfilling, it didn’t quite have the “wow” factor to really draw in the punters. St Mackenzies does, and how. It’s described on another site as “Benny Hill meets St Trinian’s meets OnlyTease”, and that isn’t too far from the truth.

In a nutshell, this site is about naughty schoolgirls in slutty uniforms with stockings and suspenders. There is occasionally other uniform content too, such as nurses and teachers. “Headmistress” is UK glamour model Mackenzie, ably assisted by a bevvy of gorgeous British glamour babes. The girls pose on their own, in pairs, or preferably in groups, so that we can imagine what naughtiness really goes on when the lights go out in their dorm…

IN THEIR OWN WRITE: There doesn’t seem to be a promo blurb on the site, as they are happy to let the gorgeous and very sexy images speak for themselves. A wise choice.

CONTENT TYPE: SEXY!!

UPDATES: Regular monthly schedule, with new girls and outfits added all the time.

ADDITIONAL EXTRAS: An active forum where you can make requests.

PRICE: $25.00 USD for 30 days recurring. Other options available on the join page.

BILLING: CCBill

CROSS SALES? No.

TYPE OF WOMEN: Gorgeous, sexy and sassy UK glamour babes.

KEYWORDS: Schoolgirls, uniforms, stockings, babes, British

VERDICT: 10/10. Fantastic photography and very sexy girls make for an uplifting experience in more ways than one.

Click here to visit St Mackenzies

There is a line between professional and amateur porn that few sites dare to cross. “Professional” porn is supposed to be glossy, glamorous, with “hot” models and pornstars flouncing around and making silly faces. “Amateur” porn, on the other hand, is supposed to be real, dirty, nasty in the true sense of the word. But what I tend to find is that some of my favorite porn sites occupy the ground in between. Pros acting like amateurs, and amateurs looking and feeling sexy as though they were pros. Suburban Amateurs is one of these sites.

The girls on this site are models, fairly well known British babes and pornstars. But in the shoots they do for SubAms, we see them acting like the kind of naughty housewives that they would surely have been if their modelling careers didn’t take off. We see them in the kind of sexy stockings, naughty lingerie and uniforms that real naughty housewives wear for their boyfriends in suburban Britain. We see them masturbating in their front rooms with their favorite sex toys, and can easily imagine that daytime TV is on in the background, or that a group of builders are watching the sex show from outside.

The point, simply, is this: on Suburban Amateurs, amateur and professional elements come together to make a very sexy and distinctive site.

IN THEIR OWN WRITE: “Suburban Amateurs…bring you the hottest, sexiest and filthiest British amateur girls from around the UK and a few hotties from Europe.
…high quality exclusive photos and full length videos.
We’ve been online since early 2003 so we now have a huge amount of content with every photoset and video…available to Members.”

CONTENT TYPE: Hi-res photos, full length videos and Flash movies. Their last quoted numbers are 291079 pics, 448 vids and 238 British and European models. Video formats include WMV, DivX or MP4 for iPods/PSPs and full length Flash videos to watch online

UPDATES: Daily.

ADDITIONAL EXTRAS: Six bonus sites plus a Members’ forum.

PRICE: $29.95 USD for 30 days, recurring every 30 days. Multi-month and non-recurring options available.

BILLING: CCBill.

CROSS SALES? No.

TYPE OF WOMEN: As explained above, Suburban Amateurs is all about mixing amateur and professional styles to create something distinctive. Amateurs look pro and pros look amateur, and none of the models look out of place.

KEYWORDS: Housewives, uniforms, stockings, masturbation, British

VERDICT: 9/10. It’s good and it keeps getting better.

Click here to visit Suburban Amateurs

Private, for those who don’t know, is an iconic name in European porn. Founded in 1965, it’s porno magazines and videos have graced the shelves of UK and European sex shops for decades, and was my own introduction to hardcore porn in the early-to-mid 1990’s. Now maybe I’m a sentimentalist, but in my view NOTHING can beat the Private mags and videos of that era. The girls were glamorous, but dressed down to look like real women. They were alwys fucked by more than one guy, often ending with a double penetration (trust me America, DP is a Euro thing).

Fast forward to 2010, and Private has undergone a lot of changes. Many of the models from the nineties have gone on to become international glamour pornstars. Now I’m not a pornstars man so I didn’t really follow their careers, but the names are impressive enough…Silvia Saint, Nikky Blond, Aletta Ocean, Carla Cox, Rita Faltoyano, Maria Bellucci and many many more. The modern internet incarnation of Private is very glam and recently the site has undergone a major facelift, which has definitely improved what used to be quite a chaotic user experience.

IN THEIR OWN WRITE: “Private has been bringing you the best hardcore porn since 1965, searching the World for the most beautiful girls, and capturing their pure sexual energy for you to enjoy.”

CONTENT TYPE: Hi-res pics, Flash and downloadable videos. All exclusive content, over 2000 hardcore scenes in total.

UPDATES: 3 daily updates

ADDITIONAL EXTRAS: Private are in the process of putting their entire magazine back catalog on the site, also featuring sister mags Priate, Sex and Triple X. Private Shop offers downloadable video on demand, and the site also features live cams, adult dating and a Members’ forum. Navigation between the different sections of the site is now much simpler and more straighforward than before.

PRICE: $29.95 USD for standard monthly Membership. Direct Debit billing option available as well as credit card.

BILLING: DHD Media, Epoch, WebBilling.

CROSS SALES? No.

TYPE OF WOMEN: Hardcore pornstars, mostly European but also international. Many famous names, and lots of up-and-cumming new talent also.

KEYWORDS: glamour, Euro, European, pornstars, hardcore.

VERDICT: 9/10. The recent revamp has improved the site tremendously, and provides an excellent user experience.

Click here to visit the new Private site

Now many of the college porn sites that take a “safe” approach to their subject matter, do so at the expense of being sexy. Fortunately this is not the case with UK softcore tease and uniforms fetish site College Uniform. It’s never sleazy, and it never tries to make the girls look younger than they are. It just is what it is, and we are grateful for that.

One of the achievements of this site is that it makes name UK glamour models look perfectly natural wearing a schoolgirl outfit. Glamour babes such as Carla Brown, Lucy Zara, Rachel Victoria and Bailey Godfrey wear their sexy uniforms as though they’d never really grown out of them. And, of course, they’re ready to satisfy all of our favorite college girl fantasies by stripping off, as the gorgeous and sexy blonde Kelly is only too happy to demonstrate…

IN THEIR OWN WRITE: “Here at college uniform we like to make sure we cover as much as possible where the niche of school uniforms can. Of course schoolgirls and school uniform are the main area of interest for most of our members, but we try our best to get models with different looks to fit in and become schoolgirls…”

CONTENT TYPE: Large size Images 1000 x 1500, WMV videos, zip sets.

UPDATES: Multiple photo gallery updates per week.

ADDITIONAL EXTRAS: A Members’ forum where you can submit requests.

PRICE: $19.99 for 30 days recurring Membership. Debit card payment available.

BILLING: Epoch.

CROSS SALES? No.

TYPE OF WOMEN: Well known British glamour models, with a few less familiar faces too.

KEYWORDS: uniforms, softcore, glamour, babes, British

VERDICT: 9/10. One of those sites that has a simple concept and delivers it perfectly.

Click here to visit College Uniform

Brooke Lee Playmates markets itself as “British tease with a naughty twist”, and it can’t go too far wrong with that premise. And I’m pleased to say that the content lives up to all the promise. A relatively new site, Brooke Lee Playmates is essentially a more glam version of that other well-known UK tease site. Like that site it features gorgeous UK glamour models, but on this site the “glam” is slightly more in the ascendency. It also features young up-and-cumming fresh British amateurs, who are listed by first name and by city. But it’s probably worth noting that they are amateurs aspiring to become glamour babes, and not “amateurs” in the truest sense.

The sexy outfits are the kind of things you would expect, but no less appealing for it. Short skirts, stockings, sexy secretaries, fetish babes. I think the pic featured here probably says a lot about the kind of content on offer. Tight latex, lingerie and fishnet stockings, and she’s more than happy to strip on request…

IN THEIR OWN WRITE: “Hi guys, I’ve gathered together some of the hottest UK glamour babes and freshest British amateurs and managed to get them all to strip for the camera and film some very sexy HD quality strip tease footage…”

CONTENT TYPE: High quality photo and video sets. The site’s movies can be streamed in Flash format or downloaded as either Windows Media files or iPod-compatible files. The Windows Media films offer HD playback, and photosets are offered in hi-res.

UPDATES: Daily, very impressive.

COST: $24.99 for 30 days recurring, $60.00 for 90 days recurring.

BILLING: CCBill

TYPE OF WOMEN: British glmaour babes and suitably gorgeous aspiring amateurs. Americans might like the aspirational “upfront-ness” of some of these girls. Lots of big tits.

KEYWORDS: Busty, gorgeous, playful, teasing, sexy outfits

REASONS TO JOIN: It’ll brighten up your day.

VERDICT: 9/10. A very impressive start for this great British newcummer.

Click here to visit Brooke Lee Playmates

Club Sandy is the official site of Sandy, a Hungarian babe and pornstar who embodies much of what is good about European porn. Sandy doesn’t over-pose, and nor do her many lesbian friends that appear on the site. They don’t make faces at the camera; they simply look sultry and stunning, simmering and smoldering with raw European sexuality.

Click here to visit Club Sandy

Teen Dreams is one of the most classy and erotic teen porn sites. Reassuringly it features natural European girls in sologirl masturbation and girl/girl lesbian shoots. It features both softcore and hardcore, nude and nonude, and as the site names suggests, it’s all about erotic teen fantasy. The best teen sex sites have figured out that we want to see young girls indulging themselves, exploring their sexuality, surrendering themselves to new experiences and enjoying themselves on cam. Teen Dreams has all of this and more, presented with a touch of class that certainly makes it a personal favorite.

VERDICT: 9/10. Just let the content seduce you.

Click here to visit Teen Dreams

Welcome to the Erotiic Porn Reviewer. Over time we will come to explore what “erotic” really means, and where to find it. I have my own ideas, but “erotic” is a word that tends to defy definition, so your ideas might be entirely different. But I thought I’d start off by reviewing a site that probably fits most people’s attempted definitions of the word erotic. So if you haven’t seen it before, then I am happy to present to you MUSE: Inspiration Eternelle.

I think we can probably tell from the name and the tagline what type of site this is. It’s a site that has aspirations of high art, probably even more so than most other softcore erotic nude sites. It’s all about quality photography, beautiful European models, moody shadows and lighting, and the stuff that decadent sensual fantasies are made of…

IN THEIR OWN WORDS: MUSE doesn’t really use words to sell itself, as the images and the things they suggest are more than sufficient.

CONTENT TYPE: Erotic photography, courtesy of Richard Murrian and “guests”. In my personal opinion, this is the highest quality photography on any of the softcore nude sites.

COST: “Classic” subscription is $25 a month recurring. However there are also options for a one-time non-recurring payment of $30 for one month, and also a special offer (at time of writing) of $59 for one year.

BILLING: CCBill.

TYPE OF WOMEN: Beautiful European models, who surely enjoy posing for the pics as much as we enjoy looking at them. Something for them to look back on with pride in their later years.

KEYWORDS: Erotic, sensual, indulgent, naked, life-affirimng

REASONS TO JOIN: Because it fels like joining an exclusive club, and makes us feel classy and tasteful.

VERDICT: 9/10. As near to a definition of “erotic porn” as we’re going to get.

Click here for more Euro nude art pics at MUSE